Cognitive strategies
One of the most unsettling aspects of being depressed
or anxious is the feeling that your thoughts are
out of control. In depression, you can feel helpless
in the face of frequent thoughts about being worthless,
incompetent, unlovable and so on. In anxiety, you
may feel overwhelmed by thoughts of various disasters
befalling you (e.g. "the plane will crash…
if I have a panic attack I'll die… I'll be
so ashamed if people see that I'm anxious").
These thoughts are distressing and may be ever-present,
even disrupting sleep.
Scheduling times to worry
Setting aside specific 'worry periods' can be helpful.
Decide on a particular time each day when you can
set aside 20-30 minutes to worry. During this time
think as many worrying thoughts as you can and write
them down. Late afternoon or early evening is usually
the best time.
During the earlier part of the day you can combat
worry by recognising that it has occurred and saying
to yourself, "STOP! I'll worry about that at
6pm."
The same strategy can be used if you find yourself
often telling your partner about your worries. Instead,
agree on a time when you will talk them over for
20-30 minutes each day. This will help you and your
partner to cope better.
Postponing the worrying can be tricky. Focus on
moment-by-moment aspects of the present (being 'mindful'),
or use a calming image (the beach or a dolphin swimming).
Focus on your breathing and make sure it is slow
(around 10 breaths per minute), or focus on any
distraction you can think of.
Monitoring your thoughts
In anxiety and depression, thoughts tend to become
negative. To make matters worse, you tend to accept
your own negative thoughts as absolute facts.
For example, if a shopkeeper is slow to acknowledge
your presence and to serve you, then you might think,
"He is avoiding me… he doesn't want to
serve me… he doesn't like me… no one likes
me because I am so worthless." In this way,
a simple everyday occurrence (going to the shops)
activates the belief "I am worthless",
and aggravates depression. One way people may deal
with this experience is to avoid situations and
withdraw. The problem here, of course, is not the
behaviour of the shopkeeper, but the way you interpret
it as evidence of your worthlessness.
When people are anxious or depressed they often
jump to negative conclusions about situations or
events even when there is another perfectly logical
explanation. Anxious and depressive thinking is
often illogical, unrealistic and biased towards
the negative, irrespective of the facts. It is easy
to conclude, " As well as being anxious and
depressed, now I know I'm stupid." WRONG! Charles
Darwin and Isaac Newton suffered with depression
and probably, from time to time, thought negatively
about themselves.
Changing the way you think is challenging, and many
people need the help of a therapist.
You may find it helpful to keep a diary, or list
of situations and thoughts associated with increased
anxiety or depression. Spend some time looking at
your list:
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Give a score or rating
to how strongly you believe the thoughts (say
on a scale from 0-100). |
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Later, consider the facts
of the situation and the logic of the thoughts. |
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Ask yourself questions
such as, "Are there any other explanations
for what happened? (i.e. other than the most
negative)… What is the evidence for my
negative conclusion?" |
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After you have done this,
re-rate the strength of your belief. |
Achieving small shifts in negative thinking can
be very empowering and provide a sense of greater
control over your moods.
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